Hi. I’m Keith. I write stuff for a living. Maybe that’s why I have this distinctly back cover-esque photo looking all serious and, if I’m quite honest, a little constipated.

I grew up a suburban kid outside Detroit, spent a good number of years in San Francisco and now live on the Jersey Shore. There are seven states in the U.S. I have not visited.

I have three children, one of whom is in college. The two others, in high school. We are a Shetland family. Like the ponies, we’re small, pretty and a little bitchy. My children are awesome human beings and the world is indeed a better place because of them, so you’re welcome.

I played trumpet in my high school marching band. I sometimes drink Worcestershire sauce directly out of the bottle. And yes, I had to look up the spelling of Worcestershire just now. I’m still not positive it’s correct.

I am a writer for a large animal rights organization you’ve definitely heard of. No, I’m not out to convert you, nor are we going to talk about it again.

I spent nearly 20 years as a news reporter. I once helped put a crooked schools superintendent in prison. For several years after, I could be heard braying to anyone who would listen: “You know what happened to the last guy who refused to return my phone calls? He’s in freaking prison!” After a five-year stint in the Big House, guy was sprung a couple months ago. A friend worries for my safety because of it.

I was once kicked out of a tiny Michigan town and forbidden to come back (true story). I have been arrested while protesting and maybe one or two other times and I worked in a peep show for several years. Now I’m someone’s dad.

I also like to ride bikes and make soup.

Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, should you need it: bykeithbrown(at)gmail.com.

A very serious person who wants to be taken seriously.