KEEGO HARBOR, Mich. — I don’t know why I thought I could outrun the police, and I sure as hell don’t know why I thought parking at my place of employment, a block from the police station, was going to be a good hiding place.
In my defense, I was young, stupid, and a little bit high.
I must’ve figured if I put enough space between me and the cop behind me, parked and then somehow walked into work before he caught up, I’d be safe.
I was in cuffs before I crossed the parking lot. I didn’t even have the sense to leave my brand new glass pipe (a gift from my supervisor) in the car. Cop found it on me right away.
He could not have been more pleased.
I’m Keith Brown, the world’s worst police car out-runner.
I cannot help you get away from the police, nor can I help you build stuff. A tool in my hand has a better than 50 percent chance of poking out my eye.
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